I started my journey of searching god since i started facing troubles in my life. Before the search the name given to this activity was searching for solution for the trouble. What is that trouble which lead me to do all these, nothing but my lack of knowledge which took several years to identify the fact.
Earlier when i was in trouble I used to start worrying myself which lead to a very high pressure in myself. Later my friends adviced me to share the worries and joys with them. I tried that but I could share only joys with them not my worries. Again the pressure of worries started to grow in myself.
Then my life took a diversion into the hobby of pet keeping, which helped me to share the worries with them so that I will get some amount of relief from my problems and the pets who faces my worries are not pressured since they dont understand what i am supposed to express. In that manner i found a soution for reducing the pressure in myself without passing onto others. Pets became my best friends who are capable of sharing both joys and sorrows of mine.
But as the time went on I realised the reducing the pressure is not the only solution. Solving the troubles is actual solution, but how? Again I started wandering for the solutions for my troubles... Took the guidence from many experts... No use... Made a friendship with certain phsycologists, then i realised that they were actually a mixture of many troubles from many sides who just moves on with the theory of probability and statistics, They helped me to increase my troubles and worries. The only solution i got from them was the name of certain reference books which they used to have in their earlier days. Then my life took a diversion into the search of books related to the concept of phsycology. I found the best book from one of the great phsycologist(not mentioning the name since i dont want any normal human bieng to go thru that), but the warning(the attitude of challenging warning) given in the beggining of the book misguided me. The warning was not to traverse through the book at once, which i followed in the reverse manner. I sat throught with the same book for about 2 weeks continuously after which i felt myself to be in a different world(which can be shortly called as mentally disabled). The tough times and troubles went on increasing...
Then some one took me into the path of devotion. Thats where my life as per me had a turning point. From there i started the process of search of god for which i went to most of the temples, churches, mosques and gurudwara's reachable to me.... But i got the same message from everywhere. The only difference was the medium of communication. Hindus took hinduism as the medium of there communication, cristians took cristianity as their medium of communication while muslims used the language of islam for their communication. Since the message was the same among all I planned to take a single path of hiduism instead of wandering in all directions. The other reason behind the choice was my family was a follower of hinduism which lead me to understand that medium somewhat more easily.
I concentrated only on temples. I learnt several mantra's written in different temples which i supposed was to conquere the attention of God. I made a practice of attending most of the pooja's for which i supposed tha the God's attention would be more on the persons who attends those. And this cycle went on for several months. But i couldnt find my troubles to be reduced and so I concluded that I havnt found God. The search for god continued....
Once a Great poojari told to visit a famous temple, there you will find the God much more closer. I visited the temple thrice but i havnt had that feeling of close meeting with God. From there I got the guidence that just visiting the temple will not do, I will have to follow several rituals before visiting the temple. I took a detailed study about the rituals to be followed and did it in the way it is to be done. I repeated the procedure twice still could not find that close meeting with god. Then someone told that God needs several poojas to be offered, so only through that pooja's god will get your identity. Then i went through with his advice followed all those rituals and offered several Pooja's in my name and waited for the response from god. Still no response. I was not able to find god even then. My troubles started to increase since i was extremely away from my duties.
I suddenly stopped myself from all my current activities and started to rethink about me and my paths which i was on the way since several periods. I recollected all my past and started scrutinizing each and every steps to rectify my errors. I even tried to rectify my transitions in these stages...
After a long and in depth scrutiny i found the solution. My life itself have given me the solution. The eagerness to learn more, the eagerness to understand what we learn more, the practise of applying what is known and understood lead a huge change in my life. Yes I am transforming. I started to learn about everything with me, everything nearby to me, each and everything what i use in my day to day life. I used to understand the purpose of all my duties and responsibilities and started to work out for its extreme outcomes. Yes i am changing... I have started getting easy solutions for most of problems. My problems started to reduce, Yes I was nearing to God. I started to feel the presence of God which I have never felt with all earlier devotional approaches.
At a certain point I realised KNOWLEDGE is GOD, UNDERSTANDING THE WORLD NEAR TO US is GOD, ACTING WISELY TO THOSE UNDERSTANDINGS is GODLINESS.
Yes there is God inside every creature in this nature whether it is living or non living. But very few tries to know that Truth.
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Best Regards,
Sreejith Prakash
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Best Regards,
Sreejith Prakash
